Miscarriage–a letter to my unborn twins

My Dear Sweet Angel BabiesIMG_3521

As I stood in the bathroom, hovering near the pregnancy test, I could feel my heart beating in my chest. I knew I didn’t need to take any tests to confirm what my body had already been telling me. With 3 healthy pregnancies behind me, I knew. I was pregnant.

Though you weren’t a ‘timed’ pregnancy, you was most definitely a planned one. By that, we knew we wanted 4 kids, just didn’t know that it would be this soon.

From day one, everything about this pregnancy seemed right. It was God’s timing, not ours. It was in the middle of a move we weren’t even sure we would make until the month before. And we had an offer on a house initially that would have been too small for a growing family…and we beat the odds with our new house which would fit us all perfectly. The cards had all fallen in to place for this pregnancy to happen.

Though it took a couple of weeks for the shock to wear off and the idea of 4 kids to settle in, both your Daddy and I were elated, especially knowing you were so meant to be. I had a certainty about it that I didn’t have with any of the other kids. Within a week we had told your big brothers and they were so excited to tell all our family and close friends. We had already begun to imagine what our family would look like. We began making plans, arranging vacations, and ‘sick leave’ based on your impending arrival. July couldn’t get here soon enough…